Tough Little Car

I stole this right off of Damian Penny. It's really funny.

Take Him Out....Painfully

I read the following at Bound By Gravity

Justice Casey Hill said [Jeffrey Michael] Campbell used Frank Groves as "target practice" when he ran down the 65-year-old cyclist from behind with a stolen car in the early hours of July 1, 2000. Groves died instantly in what Peel police described at the time as a "thrill kill" hit-and-run.

Groves died instantly from massive head injuries when he hit the car's windshield after his bike was struck from behind at about 5 a.m. on Canada Day 2000. His bike was dragged for three-quarters of a kilometre.

"The Groves homicide is a grave instance of manslaughter," Hill told the court. "Campbell fled the scene without any attempt to provide assistance to the obviously seriously injured victim.... He showed no remorse for his crime."

Groves and his wife had been married for 42 years. He was cycling to a local coffee shop when Campbell struck him with a car that had been stolen only a few minutes earlier so he and two teenage friends could go joyriding. The car was abandoned a kilometre away.

The agreed facts presented at Campbell's manslaughter conviction revealed that one of his passengers said Campbell "smirked" when the car struck Groves. The court also heard Campbell laughed when he saw news clips of the incident

Read the whole story here and I'll bet somewhere ,sometime, somehow, this bastard will kill again which is why I would like to see the death penalty re-instated as does Andrew.

To Wish and Have Not

I watched portions of the US Inauguration today when I could and heard the address and I was fired up. Here is a man who knows his destiny, here is a man who has read and learned from history, here is a man who understands the ways of the world. If, and isn't that a wonderful word, "If" or, "If only," George Bush had been President in 1935-38 the Second World War may never have taken place. There is no doubt in my mind that in a hundred years the history books will feature the greatest Presidents as Washington, Lincoln, Reagan and Bush. I won't be around but one of my descendants can stick up for me.
The sense of purpose, the vision, the perspective of the President is something that everyman can grasp, can get a grip on, can understand and feel that his President and his country stand for something and that something is above and beyond the mundane.
Thus it was with anguish that I read this. Paul Martin, is a disgrace, why do we elect such weasels? Perhaps it says a lot about Canadians! Are we such a bunch of idiotarians that we cannot confront reality? Are we such a bunch of twits that we believe the government will, without due diligence work in our best interests? I have noticed myself that the great unwashed continue to cry for more government money for everything from taxi fare to failed business bailouts. It's not the government's money you asshole! It's mine, and my friends, and my parents, and my neighbours and the guy down the street. Here's the big question! Ready...... Why should I give you money when you have failed to use what you had wisely?
Politicians give you our money because they want your vote! And you, stupid twit call in to radio shows and bellyache that the government is just not doing its job until you get womb to the tomb total care. Oh Canada, I am afraid for thee!
Sigh!

I nods to SDA

Wanted: Human Shields

I lost the link to this site and can't find it so I apologies to whomever pointed me to it.
Lance in Iraq has a wonderful request now that the Iraqi elections are to be held in only a few short days. He wants all the human shields who volunteered to go to Iraq in Jan. 03 to protect the Iraqi infrastructure to please come back and protect the Iraqi polling stations.
Don't hold your breath folks! There is nothing like an "insubstantial pageant faded" when hypocrites are called on to perform.

Cyber Fast

So you are a savvy surfer! Well that means you are using Firefox! What! You are not? Well get your ass on over to the fastest way to go, Mozilla.
Now, isn’t that so much better than brand X? I thought so!
Now, let’s kick it up a notch! Agent Clauswitz, working in the depths of the AIA labs has fed an intermediary info, that's untraceable to give you a great lift. This will give you a new browsing experience. Fire it up here.
Just a note: When you bring up the entries, double click to change false to true. The rest is as advertised.

"Our Revels Now are Ended!”

I have long been an opponent of the global warming myth. The doom and gloomers who have scared the bejesus out of the great unwashed have caused much turmoil in the so-called civilized portion of the world. The sad truth is that it is the height of arrogance to believe that Man has the power to change Nature. Most people are unaware that when Mt. Pinatubo blew in 1991,
"The volume of the eruption was about 5 cubic km of dacite. It was the third largest eruption of this century. It produced the greatest volume of SO2 ever measured."

That burp put out more “Greenhouse gases than all the infernal combustion engines ever produced. Mother Nature will not be controlled and nothing we do will change that. Just grab your brain for a moment and think about the magnitude of all the volcanoes, hurricanes, typhoons, tornados, earthquakes, tsunamis, floods, forest fires, landslides, avalanches, poison gas eruptions and I am sure there is much more I haven’t thought of and the insignificance, in comparison, of the puny impact man has made. One large meteor impact and we are haste la vista baby. Ya got to take the environmentalist whackos with a pillar of salt and as if by magic I bring you great news. This warms the cockles of my heart, (I love cockle warmers) so without further adieu:

“Cutting down on fossil fuel pollution could accelerate global warming and help turn parts of Europe into desert by 2100, according to research to be aired on British television on Thursday. "Global Dimming," a BBC Horizon documentary, will describe research suggesting fossil fuel by-products like sulfur dioxide particles reflect the sun's rays, "dimming" temperatures and almost canceling out the greenhouse effect.”

So says Reuters here.

For Reuters to publish such a piece speaks volumes as they have been the champions of the global warming doom and gloomers for years.

“Ok,” you say, “Big deal!” Just another rant by the “Consume everything-ers!” Well…….Have I got a kick in the goolies for you,

I love it so!

AUTHOR OF PAST IPCC REPORTS SAYS THE IPCC IS SO POLITICAL AS TO BE ANTI-SCIENTIFIC

IPCC stands for, Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, and these guys are the stalwarts, the head honchos, the foremost experts on global warming theory. Chris Landsea, a very interesting name, has bailed out because:

"After some prolonged deliberation, I have decided to withdraw from participating in the Fourth Assessment Report of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC). I am withdrawing because I have come to view the part of the IPCC to which my expertise is relevant as having become politicized. In addition, when I have raised my concerns to the IPCC leadership, their response was simply to dismiss my concerns.

These guys wanted Chris to ratify their pet theory that global warming caused increased hurricane activity. As Col. Potter would say, “Horse feathers.”

I can feel the frustration in the following:

“Moreover, the evidence is quite strong and supported by the most recent credible studies that any impact in the future from global warming upon hurricane will likely be quite small. The latest results from the Geophysical Fluid Dynamics Laboratory (Knutson and Tuleya, Journal of Climate, 2004) suggest that by around 2080, hurricanes may have winds and rainfall about 5% more intense than today. It has been proposed that even this tiny change may be an exaggeration as to what may happen by the end of the 21st Century (Michaels, Knappenberger, and Landsea, Journal of Climate, 2005, submitted).

It is beyond me why my colleagues would utilize the media to push an unsupported agenda that recent hurricane activity has been due to global warming.”

So, my little pretties… heheheheheheh…. You can shove your scare mongering crap way up, past that tight sphincter, all the way up, and let it sit in your transverse colon for an eon or two!

Read all about it here.

I nods to Greenie Watch

Rules

I have a philosophy that has a tenet that runs thusly,

Rules are made for the guidance of the wise and the obedience of fools.” While some of you may scoff at my egotistical attitude, let’s take a look at reality: I am driving down a major highway, it is aprox noon, the weather is perfect, there is almost no traffic and I see the sign that says max speed 100 K, I am driving my Porsche. I know I can safely, without even raising my BP, HR or my TRQ* punch out an easy160. What do I do? With all due diligence and my jammer on, I’ll do 165.

Let’s look at another scenario: same highway, dark, winter, snowing, blowing like hell, ice on road. Am I going to do 100 in my Hummer? NOYFL! I will be quite happy to do maybe 30 or so and look for a nice hotel with a bar. Dufus breath, and the world is full of em will do 100K in both of the above situations and that’s why one evening many years ago I came upon a crash site halfway between Toronto and Barrie that involved over 60 vehicles which killed 6 and injured dozens more.

So! “Where are we going with this?” You ask? Well! I wear a seatbelt and I have done so for as long as I can remember, I don’t feel safe without it. Slave, on the other hand is lackadaisical about its use and I constantly remind her to fasten her SRD+. Most people have no idea of the forces involved in collisions. I do, I buckle up. This is a lead in to the next candidate for the 2005 Darwin awards. Derek Kieper was a student at the University of Nebraska –Lincoln and last September had a column published in the student newspaper which said:

“As laws become increasingly strict for seat belts, fewer people will respond positively by buckling up in response to the laws. There seems to be a die-hard group of non-wearers out there who simply do not wish to buckle up no matter what the government does. I belong to this group. . . .

Telling me to wear my seat belt is the same as making sure I have some sort of proper education before diving into a swimming pool. If I want to dive in without knowing how to swim, that is my right. And if I want to be the jerk that flirts with death and rides around with my seat belt off, I should be able to do that, too.”

The scariest part is: “New Hampshire might be my bastion of choice some day, but for now I am stuck in Nebraska.”

Read the whole thing here.

Today’s Lincoln Journal Star says it all about the late Mr. Kieper.

“Kieper, a 21-year-old senior at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, died early Tuesday morning when the Ford Explorer he was a passenger in traveled off an icy section of Interstate 80 and rolled several times in a ditch. . . . Derek, who was thrown from the vehicle, was not wearing a seat belt.”

Derek was a dufus. He didn’t read the Capt’s Survival 101. There are many, many more Derek’s out there and they are the reason there are so many laws. The unfortunate thing is that the laws do not stop the Derek’s of the world; the laws make self serving politicians feel good about themselves and convince the great unwashed that they (the politicians) are working hard for their constituents.

Sigh!

* Testicular Retraction Quotient

+ Slave Restraining Device

I Nods to James Taranto

Update

Deep Skipper checked in today from distant climes and noted that the Capt. is out of sorts. In this DS is most correct. The Capt has not been up to snuff and a visit to the herb Dr. will I hope start things back to normal. In the meantime the provincial snowplow operator for my area will be nominated, by me for the "Scrapeus Maximus" award for 2005. Our area received a stupendous 2 inches, maybe less. The first plow went by my place at 06:04, I know because he woke me and I looked at the clock. The snow petered out and was all but stopped by 09:00 and by noon the damned plow had gone by 16 times, that's 8 times each way. It started to rain around 14:00 and the valiant plowman made one last run out and back at just after 15:00.
It is now just after 21:00 and there is no snow to be seen, it's all melted, the temperature is a hefty 54° and the snow plows are snug in their beds where the mechanics are working overtime to get them up for the next onslaught. The drivers are at home snug in their beds dreaming of all the overtime they have put in today. The suppliers are smiling because they will sell the Highway department new plows next year because the ones they have now will be worn out, the fuel suppliers.... the salt and sand suppliers.... the dispatchers.... the taxpayer, ah yes the taxpayer, the dufus, he gets to give these bastards more money. I now know why there is a Canadian gun registry.

Go Figure !

Newton is a suburb of Boston and everyone in Newfoundland knows where the Bosting States are! My own grandfather sold fish there many moons ago. The math scores have been in decline at the local school and all the educators just can’t figure it out. One serious reporter didn't take long to find the answer and my point in bringing up this story is that the sort of myopia and agenda driven concepts as practiced in Newton can happen anywhere. The short circuit need not be race, it could be language, it could be pumping diversity, and it could be religion or whatever the latest leftist nostrum may be. Children do not need to be taught anything else, "In school" other than what has been proven over the years to get the child to the next level of achievement. Cut the crap and all the superfluous piffle. I recall a class where the students had to take time away from legitimate work time to dress speak and put on a show including cooking, all in Japanese. Nothing against the Japanese but give me a break. I knew the teacher and he was so wrapped up in it that he didn't know when to quit. Blew my mind.
Read about Newton here.

I nods to James Taranto

MSM Implosion

I saw the Rathergate investigators whitewash and like anyone with an IQ above their shoe size realized that the MSM just doesn't get it. They are so out to lunch that they are to be pitied. Just in case you don't get it, here is Ann Colter to bring you up short.

Little Victories

Way back on Dec 19 I spoke at some length about pellet stoves and my attempt to glean enough information to make an intelligent decision. Yesterday, my pellet stove arrived, an insert version, as I have a fireplace that will accept such a unit. I would have had the damn thing last week but they sent me the freestanding unit which had to be sent back thus making the shipping company more profit. I am a do-it-yourselfer and I’ll be damned if I’ll pay someone a thousand bucks to install a stove. I installed a woodstove in the barn in only two hours. Pellet stoves need more care and attention than your run of the mill stove. The exhaust system must be sealed as the system is under pressure. Do you think I could procure the necessary parts to do the job myself? Nooooooo f-ing way, (think of Robin Williams doing the golf shtick.) All the HVAC suppliers will only sell pieces in given lengths, i.e. 10 ft of 3” stainless steel flexible ducting at over $200.00, I need 2 ft. The jobbers wouldn’t sell me 2 ft, they smile and say, “Let me do the job and I’ll guarantee it.” Sure they will do the job and charge me for 10 ft of SS flex and use two. I know how these things work. I found a small fabricator who is helping with parts and I am just going to love it when I am finished and sit in front of my cozy stove and have spent less than 200 bucks and have better quality materials than going to the contractor and busting more than a K. Little victories are what make life worthwhile.

Anger! Pure Anger!

Yesterday was a bad day; I was not feeling very well. I took a tumble and threw everything out of kilter. Joints were hurting the likes of which I have never felt before. I started to work on part two of "Cold Comfort" and quit early and went to bed. Today I gave it a go but had to take slave to the Immigration people and that exercise led to much gnashing of teeth which will provide grist for another blog. The upshot was that there was much on line searching and when I returned to my puter after diner to finish my blog for today.... it was gone ... all gone.... along with the open cross refs that I had on minimize. Two days of great stuff.... gone. I turned to slave and said in a loud voice, no, I screamed, "What did you do?” She had sat down and exited everything I had up except, to add insult to injury, "Bookmarks manager." I am too....too, no, never mind, I am going for a walk, the wind is screaming outside and the temperature is falling but I have to get out.

Cold Comfort

I was visiting Halifax in 1969 when the USS Manhattan ponderously exited the port on its way to the first commercial vessel transit of the North West passage. I recall only too clearly and mentioned it to more than one colleague that, "If this isn't a wake-up call for Canada to pay attention to the Arctic, I don't know what is!" I said at the time that I thought the military was going to finally get some money to do the job. I thought the Canadian Navy would be on the fast track for nuke subs and icebreaking fighting ships and hovercraft, we in the Air Force would be getting newer, and more of them, long range patrol aircraft and we would establish at least three fighter bases in the deep arctic, the Army would be setting permanent stations on Elsmere Island, the Coast Guard would be getting the most powerful icebreakers in the world and I was just just a dumb junior Air Force officer. I was right on the dumb part. The powers that were as usual in Canada had no intent of putting their country first. The egotistical bastards thought only of their own position of power. The military was slowly strangled of any semblance of capability and while the few honest officers tried to hold the organization together the prima-donnas cow-towed to the politicos and we have today a military organization that couldn't defend ten square feet of the Arctic Archipelago if push came to shove.
Ok, I hear some screaming out there; well before you start hitting the keyboard, think about this! There was a Danish flag and a metal plaque nailed to the rock on Hans Island last year and that flag is still flying and taunting and we have not the resources or the guts to do anything about it.

Oh the screams in 69 when the Manhattan went through the arctic and then more weeping and gnashing of teeth in 70 when the behemoth did it again. What did we do? We invented the pollution solution! The bureaurocrat who came up with this winner is probably sitting out his glorious retirement on a beach in Barbados today.
The Arctic waters Pollution Prevention Act was a brilliant ploy. After the Manhattanhad sustained some damage, some say serious, but because the tanker carried no oil the point is moot. The event provided the impetus to the touted protection of the "delicate" arctic environment and led to the conclusion that legislation had to be passed to protect the North from environmental damage. Canadian bureaucrats worked hard and ultimately succeeded in establishing the concept of custodianship of the arctic waters and had the "Arctic Exception" written into the final UN Convention on the law of the Sea Dec 10, 1982 as article 234.
The brilliance of this move in case you haven't thought of it is that Canada can slough off the sovereignty issue if it has enforceable control in other ways. So.... you say..... What? The liberal, peace-loving government can now not only not increase military spending..... They can CUT it which they did!

Remember the chickens. Part two tomorrow!

Annieopsquotch Intelligence Agency

Setting up an intelligence agency is no mean feat. As a long time Military type who held at one time two clearances above top secret I know all about intelligence. When I was approached by certain High level individuals to start a Blog I knew at the outset that the first agency I needed to establish was one that could provide me with,"Actionable intelligence." The last few weeks have been an experiment in getting my feet wet, so to speak; I fooled around with all sorts of topics as any of you can easily discern just by perusing the past posts. Now we are getting around to serious stuff and a lot of my time has been devoted to assimilating all the raw data from my agents. I know what you're thinking, "Annie.....What?" Well! Let me just fill you in but only on a need to know basis.
Everyone has heard of the clandestine goings on that have transpired in the Great Smokey Mountains, but nobody talks; yup! And then the same for the Ozarks; uh huh! And then there are those other areas one of which was made famous in the movie Deliverance. Starting to get the picture? Well I won't hold you in suspense any longer. Have you ever heard of the Annieopsquotch Mountains? I thought not! The caves of Bora Bora are mere cubbyholes compared to the rooms of Annieopsquotch. This area is so secret that the only thing you will find when you do a search is a lot of boring geology crap, but there's the rub. I recognized the potential and that's where the headquarters of the world’s foremost intelligence gathering organization is now headquartered.
The AIA, that's right, the AIA, remember those feared initials, the CIA is a wuss in comparison, I mean what kind of an intelligence agency brags about its headquarters sitting as large as life all out in the open in Langley Virginia? I don't suppose I need to even mention the Canadian "puzzle palace" on the Rideau. I defy anyone to find the AIA headquarters in the mist and scrub spruce, which is almost impenetrable, darkness of the Annieopsquotch Mountains. I have spent many wake less nights getting my agents into the field, no, not Tunnys pasture, real fields afar. I have obliquely referenced a few of my stalwart agents in past posts an as I move forward you will be riveted to your PC as the real events come tumbling forth. Ah, we live in exciting times and there is so much to cover. Tune in tomorrow for a most interesting expose, you will not be disappointed!

That Was Easy!

Staples has caved. Sinclair advertising will not be recinded. A good analysis and follow-up over at Amy Ridenaur's National Center Blog.

I Couldn't Make This Up

The looney Left has struck again and it's hard to believe that educated college professors behave this way. A Kuwaiti Muslim attending a California College was told he needed psychological treatment because he wrote an essay that spoke favorably of the founding fathers. It gets worse. After he saw a psychologist who told him he was fine and the local media picked up the story professor Woolcock of Foothill College filed a grievance against the student which accused him of intimidation and general harassment. Read the whole thing here.

I nods to Powerline

More French Fries

This time closer to home. Only the Gallic temperament can come up with this sort of thinking. In a place where there is a shortage of nurses the Quebec Government fires two nurses because they failed their written French test, they both speak the language well and the irony of the whole thing is that they work in a Montreal English hospital. Read the whole story in the National Post. A sit-com writer couldn’t' come up with this kind of idiocy. Les Québécois want to succeed from Canada? With this kind of thinking the gene pool will dry up first and they will blow away like so much dust. Pathetic clods.

I nods to Occam's Carbuncle

Let's Nail Staples!

Just found out that Staples, the huge office-supplier, has cancelled its TV advertising on all Sinclair news programming. The reason: Media matters of America started a campaign against Sinclair because V.P. Mark Hyman has a daily commentary which is conservative and MMA call that media bias. Staples said they are cutting the ads partly because of e-mails from customers. While Staples has the right to do what they want I find it highly disturbing that they would cut and run because of a few e-mails when Sinclair has shown no bias whatsoever. Any station can comment in whatever way they choose. This calls for a few e-mails to Staples and perhaps when it comes time to buy office products head on over to Dicks or any other store. Send e-mails here.

I nods to Captains Quarters

French Fries

Way back in 1969 I visited France for the first time and really looked forward to it. I drove to Paris from my little place in Varnhalt, a small town next to the Black Forest, not too far from Baden Baden. The trip was an eye opener and the opening line of Dickens Tale of Two Cities sums it all up. “It was the best of times; it was the worst of times." The worst part being, having to deal with Frenchmen. I have no idea why but the French have this collective chip (about the size of a Douglas fir) on their shoulder. Try to imagine being yelled at because I couldn't speak French because I was Canadian and was deliberately not speaking French. Others thought I was an American and proceeded to try to rip me off and the insults; well times haven't changed and I doubt they ever will.
Gregory Djerejian over at Belgravia Dispatch handles the latest Le Monde gutter piece. The accusations of the US helping the Tsunami Disaster as an excuse to gain nefarious interests are lower than low. The cartoon is particularly repugnant. A couple of lines I liked:

" Get over yourselves. You are a middle power, lucky to have a U.N. Security Council seat still......Such sad fare isn't just wrong, tasteless, petty and rancidly provincial. It speaks of a society, like contemporary Germany, that's ails and needs scapegoats..............loves to beat up that favorite bogeyman--the U.S.--out of a mixture of incomprehension, envy, fascination, stupidity and crude stereotyping. It's sad really..........this kind of myopic, obnoxiously self-interested news treatment of this massive tragedy speaks volumes, doesn't it?"

It sure does brother! Remember what General Omar Bradly said back in 1944. "The French let no good turn go unpunished."
Read it all here.

I nods to Instapundit

Journalism's Throes of Death

It's hard to believe that this sort of tripe gets published. With all that is transpiring in SA right now, the appearance of this piece makes me shake my head. Heres the opening:

An Indian helicopter dropping food and water over the remote Andaman and Nicobar Islands has been attacked by tribesmen using bows and arrows.

The authorities are taking the attack as a sign that the tribes have not been wiped out. No! Really?
The report says that officials, whoever they might, be believe they survived by: Wait for it, deep breath: " Using age-old early warning systems."
Yup, impressive eh wot? Must be the system left by the Klingons. Read the whole BBC report here.

I nods to Drudge

Leadership

Laurie Hawn has a fine piece on leadership over at Strong and Free. As usual he nails it. The essence of the article is:
"Leadership is not just communicating and giving direction. It is being there and being seen to be there, in person and in charge, if humanly possible. It was, and those being led expect it and miss it, when it doesn't happen. As capable and qualified as deputies may be, no real leader wants to be anywhere but "there", when things go wrong. Paul Martin was not there."

I could not agree more. Read the whole thing.

Eye Of The Beholder

For the edification of those erudite individuals sequestered throughout my sphere of influence, small as it is, I can only say " I sees what I sees," as opposed to Will Rogers who said, I only know what I read in the papers." In those days Will didn't know he was being lied to as opposed to today where it has reached epidemic proportions, but we have an antidote. Thanks to the blogisphere.
A 24 Dec Ottawa Citizen editorial critising Danny Williams was little more than a thinly disguised Liberal hit piece. The tone was set to attack Williams while really ignoring the situation. The most condescending and obviously totally ignorant line was left to the end where Newfoundlanders were called on to really tell Danny to smarten up. Bottom line: The Ottawa Citizen, to take a phrase from Dickens, “Is a ass." The smarmy, self righteous liberal toadies have no clue about Newfoundland; they tell "newfie" jokes and consider the populace to be an island of morons, including Labrador. The only reason the OC is jumping on the Martin bandwagon is because once you are on your knees, well a pat on the head feels good.
Today, right here in Good old St. John's we had the local Rag, The Evening Telegram post a picture of a lone individual in front of the Conglomeration Building holding a Canadian flag. One man, no support, not one. HEY Ottawa Citizen, take a good look. The folks here have had it! The local radio call in show on VOCM, yah, you read that right VOCM, not CF bla bla took a survey and 75% of the callers support Danny. This place is slow to learn, I will admit, we lost just about the entire Newfoundland Regiment in one battle on July 1st 1916, we lost our independence on April Fools day 1949, we lost our fishery , we were forced to give away our electricity, we gave away our minerals, our pulp wood. What's next? How silly of me! The oil! Of course! "Dumb Newfs don't need that; they are content with the baby bonus and the old age pension and a few turnips and cabbage and salt beef. Yup, us Upper Canada types appreciate the finer things of life, what do bay wops know anyway."
Quebec is cow-towed to at every turn, they can not only not fly the flag they even burn it They dictate that all businesses have no English signs anywhere or be fined. No English road signs, they even have their own emigration department that is separate from Canada. You twits that are badgering Danny Williams for wanting justice can shove it and when we see you addressing the lopsided sucking up to the Frogs then maybe we can talk, until then; engage in sex and travel.

Math

John Derbyshire over at The Corner of NRO threw these out for all you math wizards. Very funny!

Q: What's huge, white, swims in the ocean, and has only one side?
A: Moebius Dick.

Q: What's brown, furry, runs to the sea, and is equivalent to the Axiom of Choice?
A: Zorn's lemming.

Q: What's yellow, linear, normed, and complete?
A: A Bananach space.

Q: What does an analytic number theorist say when he's drowning?
A: Log-log, log-log, log-log,...

Q: How many number theorists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: This is not known, but it is conjectured to be a prime number.

Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, if it knows its own Goedel number.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip?
A: To get to the same side.

***Excuses for not doing math homework:
---I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.
---I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook, I couldn't reach it.
---I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in this margin.

***Set-theoretic campfire song:
Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall
Aleph-null bottles of beer,
You take one down and pass it around,
Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall...

WISHING YOU A FUN NEW YEAR!

Happy New Year(s)

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice (with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others or their choice not to practice such traditions at all).

* Furthermore, I offer my (non-binding) best wishes for the onset of the generally accepted calendar year of 2005, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. (Which is not to imply that America is any greater than any other country or is the only "America" in the western hemisphere.) These wishes are offered without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, choice of computer platform or sexual preference of the wishee. Holidays (if you recognize them)

* This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It implies no others, is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish expires within one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.

Stolen outright from Wicked Thoughts